Christmas "Too Big To Fail", Santa Asks For Bailout

Satire: Is Christmas Too Big to Fail? 12/10/2008

WSJ's Daniel Henninger on the upcoming winter Wonder Land bailout.

Economy Christmas

My dear friends,

Somewhat embarrassing to admit, I'm not getting an annual bonus and Christmas is tight this year. I will be making bedroom slippers for you all as gifts. Please let me know your sizes. You'll most likely agree that it's a splendid idea, and should you wish to do the same, I've included the instructions below.

How to make bedroom slippers out of maxi pads:

You need four maxi pads to make a pair.

Two of them get laid out flat, for the foot part.

The other two wrap around the toe area to form the top.

Tape or glue each side of the top pieces to the bottom of the foot part.

Decorate the tops with whatever you desire, silk flowers (this is most aesthetically appealing), etc.

These slippers are:

* Soft and Hygienic

* Non-slip grip strips on the soles

* Built in deodorant feature keeps feet smelling fresh

* No more bending over to mop up spills

* Disposable and biodegradable

* Environmentally safe

* Three convenient sizes: (1.) Regular, (2.) Light and (3..) Get out the Sand Bags.

I've attached a photo of the first pair I made so that you can see the nifty slippers for yourself.....

Awaiting your response. It's crucial that I get the right size for each one of you.