Paraprosdokian

Definition: "Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation."

"Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian.

1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'
13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
17. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
18. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
19. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
20. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
21. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
22. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
23. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
24. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
25. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
26. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
27. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.
28. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.
29. I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.
30. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
32. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

There are actually two messages here. The 1st points out the incredible benefits of Universal Healthcare and is very interesting; the 2nd is absolutely astounding - and explains a lot.


1.A recent "Investor's Business Daily" article provided very interesting statistics from a survey by the United Nations International Health Organization.

Percentage of men and women who survived a cancer five years after diagnosis:
U.S. 65%
England 46%
Canada 42%

Percentage of patients diagnosed with diabetes who received treatment within six months:
U.S. 93%
England 15%
Canada 43%

Percentage of seniors needing hip replacement who received it within six months:
U.S. 90%
England 15%
Canada 43%

Percentage referred to a medical specialist
who see one within one month:
U.S. 77%
England 40%
Canada 43%

Number of MRI scanners (a prime diagnostic tool) per million people:
U.S. 71
England 14
Canada 18

Percentage of seniors (65+), with low income, who say they are in "excellent health":
U..S. 12%
England 02%
Canada 06%


Check this last set of statistics!!


2..The percentage of each past president's cabinet who had worked in the private business sector prior to their appointment to the cabinet.

Here are the percentages.
T. Roosevelt................... 38%
Taft............................... 40%
Wilson .......................... 52%
Harding.......................... 49%
Coolidge....................... 48%
Hoover ......................... 42%
F. Roosevelt...................50%
Truman........................ 50%
Johnson........................ 47%
Nixon............................ 53%
Ford............................. 42%
Carter........................... 32%
Reagan..........................86%
GH Bush....................... 51%
Clinton ......................... 39%
GW Bush...................... 55%

And the winner is:

Obama.................. 08%


This helps to explain the incompetence of this administration: only 8% of them have ever worked in a job not supported by tax money!

That's right! Only eight percent---the least, by far, of the last 19 presidents! And these people are trying to tell our big corporations how to run their business? They know what's best for GM, Chrysler, Wall Street, and you and me?

How can the president of a major nation and society, the one with the most successful economic system in world history, stand and talk about business when he's never worked for one? Or about jobs when he has never really had one? And when it's the same for 92% of his senior staff and closest advisers? They've spent most of their time in academia, government and/or non-profit jobs or as "community organizers." They should have been in an employment line.

China builds super-scary-secret-weapon...

...That we've known about for 40 years.

Couldn't resist. Getting sick of all these diversions around the world that our political advertising systems uses to help drive us over the cliff.

BigMG

Posted on December 17, 2011 at 8:16am

All this hand-wringing over a retrofitted scrap of 1980′s era Soviet engineering? Those Soviet clowns couldn‘t even properly build things they’d been stealing from us since the 1920′s. That so-called ‘stealth’ plane they rolled out looked more like an anvil with an engine. They can steal our technology, but they can’t steal our innovation. That has to be done from within. And, it is.
China is just getting ready to pick up the pieces after we self destruct. Diversion will be their best weapon.
The only problem is that China is self destructing also. Whole ‘planned communist paradise cities’ are uninhabited. Tens of thousands workers lie dead, mostly buried alive, in China’s proletariat dream. Close to 200,000 protests in less than a decade; where workers would rather face the end of a gun than work in these hell holes.
Let‘s not forget that China’s hell hole work environment is courtesy of United States Unions, who have forced labor overseas for the sake of their own power. We share in the blood shed for global Communism. But, through our dept, we in a sense own them.
So, when we get upset over a 40yr. old scrap heap retrofitted by a nation of slaves, remember: IT IS A DIVERSION.

The most obvious answer is to fix ourselves first.
Is China planning of taking Taiwan? When haven't they been? What FDR failed to do in the 1940's, Obama may succeed in doing if reelected. But, who cares? Walmart is having a sale...

How's That Dope 'n Change? GE Leaves USA.

GE leaves USA

General Electric is planning to move its 115-year-old X-ray division from Waukesha, Wis., to Beijing. In addition to moving the headquarters, the company will invest $2 billion in China and train more than 65 engineers and create six research centers. This is the same GE that made $5.1 billion in the United States last year. but paid no taxes-the same company that employs more people overseas than it does in the united States.

So let me get this straight. President Obama appointed GE Chairman Jeff Immelt to head his commission on job creation (job czar). Immelt is supposed to help create jobs.

I guess the President forgot to tell him in which country he was supposed to be creating those jobs. Then again, perhaps he did exactly as the President instructed (through his Union puppeteers).

If this doesn't show you the total lack of leadership of this President, I don't know what does. Please pass this information to others and think about it before you buy a GE product.

Herman's Harem

Yet another woman comes forward. This one claiming to have had a 13 year affair with the multi-tasking presidential candidate. Either this frisky front runner has a social calendar that looks like that of a dentist who takes medicare, or there are a lot of people who don't want to see a conservative black man in the race.

Whether those would be DNC, or GOP, or both, remains to probably never be seen.

What is clear at this point is:
Herman, you should have run as a Democrat.
Your alleged sexual prowess would have made you a liberal's super star. Your ascension to the presidency would have been a lock.
Bill Clinton, JFK, LBJ, etc., stand aside. Herman's got you beat by a mile.

What is most puzzling about this whole thing is how much this reminds me of the Clarance Thomas kerfuffle. Women popping up like 'Whack-a-Mole', all with financial problems. Anita Hill, for example, wasn't someone anybody wanted on their team, but was good enough for a cush job as a legal professor after the hit was over.

Journalists seem attracted to the same old stories that the racist Democrats loved in the 1800's: The amorous black man stealing the white plantation owner's daughter. Why they still love that story tells us more about who journalists are today than who Herman Cain was a decade ago.

I suspect that Herman may have been careless in the manner in which he handled himself around women. Restaurants aren't exactly the place to find a Harvard grad, unless she was an art major -- but I digress. There may be an abundance of women tired of smelling like the 'soup du jour' and see this as a way out.

Wasn't it Democrat strategist James Carville who said about Bill's trysts, that finding women like this to come forward was as easy as "Dragging a $100 Bill through a trailer park"? But, with Bill there were other witnesses, hush money was paid, threats were made, and many uncooperative folks ended up dead. Especially cops, who can be very influential where testimony is concerned.

Not one member of Herman's Harem seem to mention any hush-money, or any attempt at containment. It's like he never saw any of this coming.

Just sayin'

More Like 'Lack of Class' Warfare

More Like 'Lack of Class' Warfare
Today, Occu-parasites all over the U.S. are demanding things they have no legal right to take.
Class warfare is at its best/worst laziness, ingratitude, and greed. Just look at the environment they have left behind during these tantrums.

The Real Story of Stuff

The slackers who are getting the free stuff don't like the workers who are paying for the free stuff, because the workers who are paying for the free stuff can no longer afford to pay for both the slackers free stuff and the stuff the workers have earned for themselves.

And,

The workers who are paying for the slackers free stuff want the slackers free stuff to stop, while the slackers who are getting the free stuff, want even more free stuff on top of the free stuff they are already getting!

Now

The politicians, who are forcing the workers, that pay for the slackers free stuff, have also told the slackers who are RECEIVING the free stuff, that the workers who are PAYING for the free stuff, are being mean, prejudiced, and racist.

So

The slackers, who are GETTING the free stuff, have been convinced by the politicians that they need to hate the workers who are paying for the slackers free stuff. But, it's the politicians who are forcing the workers to pay for the slackers stuff, and then giving it to the slackers as free stuff in the first place.

We have let the politicians give free stuff for so long that there are now more slackers getting free stuff than there are workers who are paying for the free stuff.

There is something in between the workers and the slackers that is preventing the two from coming to an agreement. That would be the POLITICIAN, or in other times, the MERCENARY.

It is the politician's job to make sure that the workers and the slackers hate one another so that the need for intervention is constant and escalating.

Now understand this.

All great democracies have committed financial suicide somewhere between 200 and 250 years after being founded. The reason? The voters figured out they could vote themselves money from the treasury by electing people who promised to give them money from the treasury in exchange for electing them.

The United States officially became a Republic in 1776, 231 years ago. The number of people now getting free stuff outnumbers the people paying for the free stuff. We have one chance to change that in 2012. Failure to change that spells the end of the United States as we know it.

ELECTION 2012 IS COMING

A Nation of Sheep Breeds a Government of Wolves!
Unless YOU Take a Stand!!!

Obama: Gone

Borders: Enforced

Language: English

Culture: Constitution and the Bill of Rights

Compassion: Hand-Up, Not Hand-Out -- Mandatory Drug Screening before Welfare

NO freebies to Non-Citizens whatsoever!

If someone came to this country looking for equal opportunity: Welcome, there is room for them to do it the right way.

If someone came to this country bringing the culture of lawlessness, murder, and corruption with them: Go home. We have no room for criminals.

Proof Uncoverd: The Links between the ACLU and the Communist Party

What has this to do with anything? First, we have ACLU members in the highest positions of power, including the Supreme Court. Their agenda is quite literal: Replace this Republic with a Socialist / Communist State. Occasionally, they will defend an issue that is consistent with conservative ideas, but that's just a smoke screen.

Proof Uncoverd: The Links between the ACLU and the Communist Party

We all knew the ACLU really stood for American Communist Labor Union.

John Rossomando reports, via The Daily Caller:

Noted author Paul Kengor has unearthed declassified letters and other documents in the Soviet Comintern archives linking early leaders of the ACLU with the Communist Party.

Kengor found a May 23, 1931 letter in the archives signed by ACLU founder Roger Baldwin, written on ACLU stationery, to then American Communist Party Chairman William Z. Foster asking him to help ACLU Chairman Harry Ward with his then-upcoming trip to Stalin's Russia.

The letter suggests Ward intended to visit the Soviet Union to find 'evidence from Soviet Russia' that would undermine the capitalist profit motive.

Baldwin wrote the letter at a time when Stalin was deporting 1.8 million Ukrainian peasants to Siberia under his policy of the forced collectivization of agriculture, which resulted in the deaths of up to 10 million Ukrainians in the two years that followed.

The Ukrainian government considers this to have been an act of genocide.

Foster was a key figure in the early years of the American communist movement who belonged to the ACLU's National Committee in the 1920s, according to FBI documents. He later wrote a book titled 'Toward Soviet America' in 1932 and also testified under oath before Congress that he opposed American democracy.

Another letter on ACLU letterhead Kengor found in the Soviet archives dated Sept. 2, 1932 asks the Communist Party of America for a schedule of Foster's trips around the country and offers to help keep the police at bay. It also asks for the names and addresses of Communist Party representatives in the cities where Foster was speaking.

Kengor also found a flier from 1933 advertising ACLU board member Corliss Lamont as the headline speaker for 'Soviet Union Day,' which its organizers hoped would 'answer lies and slanders of enemies of the Soviet Union.'

The documents found their way into the Soviet archives because the Communist Party sent all of its correspondences to the Comintern in Moscow for safekeeping, according to Kengor.

Other documents released in the 1990s by KGB defector Vasili Mitrokhin show the American Communist Party was under the Moscow's direct control until 1989.

'These guys were advocating a regime that arguably was the biggest mass murderer in all of human history,' Kengor said. 'Where is the moral authority in that?'

Kengor told The Daily Caller he found numerous other documents in the Soviet Comintern archives that also show a close relationship between the Communist Party and the ACLU.

Declaration of Rights & Responsibilities

Enough of this world's foolishness. It is time to take responsibility for ones own actions.

Beck is dead-on right. It is time for the idiots of the world to stop blaming good people when these idiots bring bad consequences upon themselves because of their own irresponsibility.

Thus, we the people do hereby declare not only our rights, but do now establish this bill of responsibilities.

1. Because I have the right to choose, I recognize that I am accountable to God and have the responsibility to keep the 10 commandments in my own life.

2. Because I have the right to worship as I choose, I have the responsibility to honor the right of others to worship as they see fit.

3. Because I have freedom of speech, I have the responsibility to defend the speech of others, even if I strongly disagree with what they’re saying.

4. Because I have the right to pursue happiness, I have the responsibility to show humility and express gratitude for all the blessings I enjoy and the rights I’ve been given.

5. Because I have the right to honest and good government I will seek out honest and just representatives when possible. If I cannot find one then I accept the responsibility to take that place.

6. Because I have the God given right to liberty, I have the personal responsibility to have the courage to defend others to be secure in their persons, lives and property.

7. Because I have the right to equal justice, I will stand for those who are wrongly accused or unjustly blamed.

8. Because I have the right to knowledge, I will be accountable for myself and my children’s education…to live our lives in such a way that insures the continuation of truth.

9. Because I have the right to pursue my dreams and keep the fruits of my labor, I have the responsibility to feed, protect and shelter my family, the less fortunate, the fatherless, the old and infirm.

10. Because I have a right to the truth, I will not bear false witness nor will I stand idly by as others do.

Many people like slavery because they have everything handed to them and they never have to make any difficult decisions. Problem is, when your usefulness as a slave is no longer needed, you become a liability. They shoot you, or more likely, just starve you to death.

Dem Rep Cites ‘Racism’ as Top Reason for Black Unemployment

First, why would anyone elect some fool in a shiny red hat.

Who only cares about color in America today as a way of fracturing society and fomenting hatred?
Oh, the racist slave owners, *cough-democrats*.

Who cares what color you are when it comes to denying some people a quality education?
Oh, the racist slave owners, *cough-democrats*.

Who advocates the targeted abortions for one particular community?
Oh, the racist slave owners, *cough-democrats*.

All REAL Americans want is competent, hard working, educated, and capable citizens.
No matter what color.

All REAL Americans want is for their fellows to join together and support the greatest nation the world has ever seen.
No matter what color.

Why is it so hard to see that the people pretending to be helping the black community are actually herding them into a plantation of the mind.

Willful slavery is something that this world hasn't seen to this degree, ever. We often state that the last civil war was fought to free the slaves. Did you ever think that the next civil war will be fought to set free slaves who will be fighting to remain slaves. Of every color.

In reality, though, roughly 1/2 of the entire American population has become a slave of the mind. The people who have lost interest in freedom and only want a handout. This is no longer a black-white issue. This is a 'those-who-get-it' issue and a 'those-who-are-wondering-what's-on-TV-right-now'.

By fracturing society and dividing people into smaller, more self-important, insular groups, the slave owners are sapping your life away. Who will care about Social Security or Medicare when the government collapses from millions of paper cuts. How can the slave owners maintain power when they've finally squeezed the last dollar out of the working man and handed it over to the idle male.