20120422

This month's home teaching message.

They left out #13. If you happen to be LDS (Harry Reed) nobody will castigate for your religion; they know you don't believe all that stuff anyway.

 When your family or friends cannot explain why they voted Democrat, give them this list.
They can then pick a reason from this "TOP 12".
 
1. I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.

2. I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

3. I voted Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

4. I voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

5. I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.


6. I voted Democrat because I'm not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

7. I voted Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we should take away the social security from those who paid into it.

8. I voted Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrats see fit.

9. I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

10. I voted Democrat because I think that it's better to pay billions to people who hate us for their oil, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher or fish.

11. I voted Democrat because while we live in the greatest, most wonderful country in the world, I was promised "HOPE AND CHANGE".

12. I voted Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my rear, it's unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.

20120410

List of Firsts

We must give credit where credit is due. . .here's Obama's Impressive list of firsts:

§ First President to apply for college aid as a foreign student, then deny he was a foreigner.

§ First President to hide his medical, educational and travel records.

§ First President to win a Nobel Peace Prize for doing NOTHING to earn it.

§ First President to have a social security number from a state he has never lived in.

§ First President to preside over a cut to the credit-rating of the United States .

§ First President to violate the War Powers Act.

§ First President to be held in contempt of court for illegally obstructing oil drilling in the Gulf of Mexico .

§ First President to defy a Federal Judge’s court order to cease implementing the Health Care Reform Law.

§ First President to require all Americans to purchase a product from a third party.

§ First President to spend a trillion dollars on ‘shovel-ready’ jobs when there was no such thing as ‘shovel-ready’ jobs.

§ First President to abrogate bankruptcy law and turn over control of major companies to his union supporters.

§ First President to by-pass Congress and implement the Dream Act through executive fiat.

§ First President to order a secret amnesty program that stopped the deportation of illegal immigrants across the U.S. , including those with criminal convictions.

§ First President to demand a company hand-over $20 billion to one of his political appointees.

§ First President to terminate America ’s ability to put a man in space.

§ First President to have a law signed by an auto-pen without being present.

§ First President to arbitrarily usurp congress, declare an existing law unconstitutional and refuse to enforce it.

§ First President to threaten insurance companies if they publicly spoke-out on the reasons for their rate increases.

§ First President to tell a major manufacturing company (Boeing) in which State they are allowed to locate a factory.

§ First President to join with a foreign country and file lawsuits against the states he swore an oath to protect (AZ, WI, OH, IN).

§ First President to fire an inspector general of Ameri-corps for catching one of his friends in a corruption case.

§ First President to appoint 45 czars to replace elected officials in his office.

§ First President to go on multiple global ‘apology tours’.

§ First President to go on 17 lavish vacations, including date nights and Wednesday evening White House parties for his friends; paid for by the taxpayer.

§ First President to have 22 personal servants (taxpayer funded) for his wife.

§ First President to keep a dog trainer on retainer for $102,000 a year at taxpayer expense.

§ First President to repeat the Holy Qur'an and tell us, "the Islamic call to worship is the most beautiful sound on earth."


WAKE UP AMERICA ! Send this list to your Democrat friends - they will all be so proud of all these firsts!

Plus:
Teleprompter
Cap n Trade
$5 and more Gas Prices

20120131

Paraprosdokian

Definition: "Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation."

"Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian.

1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'
13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
17. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
18. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
19. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
20. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
21. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
22. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
23. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
24. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
25. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
26. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
27. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.
28. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.
29. I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.
30. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
32. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

20120118

There are actually two messages here. The 1st points out the incredible benefits of Universal Healthcare and is very interesting; the 2nd is absolutely astounding - and explains a lot.


1.
A recent "Investor's Business Daily" article provided very interesting statistics from a survey by the United Nations International Health Organization.

Percentage of men and women who survived a cancer five years after diagnosis:

U.S. 65%

England 46%
Canada 42%

Percentage of patients diagnosed with diabetes who received treatment within six months:

U.S. 93%

England 15%
Canada 43%

Percentage of seniors needing hip replacement who received it within six months:

U.S. 90%

England 15%
Canada 43%

Percentage referred to a medical specialist
who see one within one month:

U.S. 77%

England 40%
Canada 43%

Number of MRI scanners (a prime diagnostic tool) per million people:

U.S. 71

England 14
Canada 18

Percentage of seniors (65+), with low income, who say they are in "excellent health":

U..S. 12%

England 02%
Canada 06%


Check this last set of statistics!!



2..The percentage of each past president's cabinet who had worked in the private business sector prior to their appointment to the cabinet.

Here are the percentages.
T. Roosevelt................... 38%
Taft............................... 40%
Wilson .......................... 52%
Harding.......................... 49%
Coolidge....................... 48%
Hoover ......................... 42%
F. Roosevelt...................50%
Truman........................ 50%
Johnson........................ 47%
Nixon............................ 53%
Ford............................. 42%
Carter........................... 32%
Reagan..........................86%
GH Bush....................... 51%
Clinton ......................... 39%
GW Bush...................... 55%

And the winner is:


Obama
.................. 08%


This helps to explain the incompetence of this administration: only 8% of them have ever worked in a job not supported by tax money!

That's right! Only eight percent---the least, by far, of the last 19 presidents! And these people are trying to tell our big corporations how to run their business? They know what's best for GM, Chrysler, Wall Street, and you and me?

How can the president of a major nation and society, the one with the most successful economic system in world history, stand and talk about business when he's never worked for one? Or about jobs when he has never really had one? And when it's the same for 92% of his senior staff and closest advisers? They've spent most of their time in academia, government and/or non-profit jobs or as "community organizers." They should have been in an employment line.