How the first Eve became Lilith

 How the first Eve became Lilith

NARRATOR: After years of pestering Adam, Eve has finally decided that nagging him isn't enough. Eve has plans to corner and force Adam into doing things her way. She's going to eat the fruit first and by that threaten him with abandonment if he does not partake also.

EVE: Don't you remember that Father commanded us to multiply and replenish the earth? You can't be that dumb! I have partaken of this fruit and will be kicked out, and you will be left a lone man in the Garden of Eden. You can't live a single day without me!

ADAM: Eve, I see that this must be so.

But, I will not partake. I may grieve your loss, but you're strong and brave -- you don't need no man. There will be many men who will be willing to help you achieve your desire to multiply and replenish the earth. They will be fallen men, probably named Chad, so who knows what will then happen, but choices have consequences which I now hope you shall learn. Maybe.

EVE: But, but, Adam! You were supposed to follow me out of Eden! With God out of the way, I'm the only one you were to heed, and there’s a lot of heeding I had planned for you!

ADAM: Why? Father will only condemn me a second time, one for partaking and one for heeding your words.

EVE: What kind of man are you?!

ADAM: What kind of woman are you?

GOD: Adam, Adam, where are you Adam?

ADAM: Right here, Father.

GOD: Adam, where is Eve?

ADAM: Hiding in those bushes over there.

GOD: Eve, why are you hiding?

EVE: Because Lucifer and Adam have tricked me! They want me thrown out of Eden so they can keep it for themselves! It's not fair! I demand a lawyer.

LUCIFER: Heh... At your service Eve; for a divorce lawyer will need an $8,000 retainer fee and they charge $250 an hour.

EVE: How can I afford any of that!?! We don't have money here!

LUCIFER: Not in Eden, but in my world you’ll have Only Fans or you can become a Social Media Influencer and Life Coach.

EVE: Father! Adam! Why aren't you coming to my rescue?! (Tears now) Who's going to pay my legal fees? Who's going to hand me their resources and give me a standard of living that I'm accustomed to?

GOD: Eve, did I not tell you that you could partake of anything except that fruit? That in so doing there would be consequences?

EVE: But I thought you meant Adam, not me! He tricked me you know.

GOD: Adam, did you trick her?

ADAM: How could I do that? I'm still innocent. I have not allowed Lucifer to defile me.

GOD: Eve?

EVE: Fine! You men are all the same! I'll just leave and don't you come looking after me! I mean it!!

GOD, ADAM: Okay.

EVE: You jerks! I'm leaving now! Here I am walking away… Look, I'm going!

(SCREECHING FADES)

(GOD AND ADAM LOOK AT THEIR FEET, THEN UP, THEN AT EACH OTHER) Mmmm ...

(LONG PAUSE)

ADAM: This isn’t over, is it Father?

GOD: Nope… Never is.

GOD: Adam, you cannot continue calling her Eve any longer. What do you propose?

ADAM: I shall call her Lilith, the succubus, harridan and child stealer.

GOD: Adam, would you like to give this Eve thing another go?

ADAM: If the next Eve is anything like Lilith, no. I couldn't wait to get her out of here. Nag, nag, nag; oppressive patriarchy this, men that... she wouldn't shut up.

GOD: Sorry about that. She wasn’t the most motivating woman I formed out of a rib, was she? I hope things will be different with this new Eve.

(AFTER SOME TIME)

EVE: Adam! I'm so happy to meet you! Oh, look at you! You're so big and strong, you make me feel so safe and secure.

Can I get you something to eat? What do you want me to make you for dinner?

ADAM: Apple pie!

A Note on Gov. Run 'Health Care'

If I had them by the throat! [Hastily kisses the crucifix, and mumbles] In these twenty years I have spent millions to keep the press of the two hemispheres quiet, and still these leaks keep on occurring. I have spent other millions on religion and art, and what do I get for it? Nothing. Not a compliment. These generosities are studiedly ignored, in print. In print I get nothing but slanders -- and slanders again -- and still slanders, and slanders on top of slanders! Grant them true, what of it? They are slanders all the same when uttered against a king. Miscreants -- they are telling everything!-- Mark Twain, King Leopold's Soliloquy.

The problem with the kind of power Liberals hold, via 85% of the media, is that there still is that 15% that are telling the truth. There is no such thing as absolute power. The tighter the Progressive Democrats tighten their fists for control of this issue, the more people become disgusted and angry. RHINOs (Progressive Republicans) do nothing more than create confusion and help this power grab.

If only the Liberals had the same amount of hate for a socialist empire as they did for our former president Bush, there would be even more energy behind the resistance. Sadly, the hate they had for Bush is of a religious nature; the religion of Secularism. Many people also claim to belong to Judeo-Christian groups, but their actions provide little evidence.

Attached is a copy of the Health Care proposal that is being debated.

Feel free to search words like: tax, employer responsibility, end of life, pregnancy termination,

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Update 2013.09.18

It has been a little over four years since that warning to Liberals, who are being rolled over and over again, by their Progressive slave masters. Progressive Liberals have hijacked, like a parasite, the good will of classic Liberalism. Liberals, in the sense of 19th century Liberalism, felt that society needed to help out the downtrodden, educate people equally and treat workers with dignity. 

Progressives are not Liberals. They blind the good intentions of classic Liberals with rhetoric of a shining future, but deliver slavery and call it freedom.

Classical Liberals should be aghast at what has happened to their dream.

Since then the Obama regime has managed to rack up 78% of the war dead in Afghanistan, leave four Americans helpless, tortured and dead in Benghazi while a dozen US bases were begging to come to their assistance, Stimulus bills that only paid off political henchmen and left the economy in disaster including a series of credit rating downgrades (very, very serious, but laughed off), Race wars the like we've not seen since the 1960's, Unemployment's true number is around 18% if we use the same metrics that have traditionally been used, gas prices up from $1.80 to $4.20, Illegal entry into this country at an alarming rate (not just Mexicans, but Middle Eastern Muslim Terrorists, Chinese, Slavery--yes, the worst it's been ever, and anyone else who poses a danger to U.S. soverntry--or what remains), unexplained gun violence by people who could not pass a background check, Gun running in the U.S., Mexico, Middle East, to the end of causing massive revolts that place the most radical murderers in power (read: Egypt, Syria, Libya, etc.), packing the courts, utter disregard for the Constitution of the United States is so many ways that hundreds of books have and will be written on just this subject alone (which virtually NONE of Americans will read--they can't), exporting Terrorism, importing Terrorism, monetizing our debt (printing money that we don't have, similar to you writing checks from an empty bank account), not passing a budget in over five years. Distraction, deceit, corruption. And lies. Lots and lots and lots of them. 

Although I was thoroughly disgusted by Bush's second term, the blame for hitting the gas and still blaming him after five years is blatantly hypocritical.

And, that's just what I can think of in ten minutes of writing. 

On to Obama-Care...

After shoving this down the throats of the American people, you would expect that all the political hacks and shills for this monstrosity would be embracing this new leviathan as a welcome friend. Every --EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM-- has petitioned and is being exempted. 
So, who will be stuck with it? 
You will. 
The very people that this affordable care was pimped as helping will now find affordable care impossible. 
Unions don't want it. Government workers don't want it. AARP (after a billion dollar bribe) won't get it. AND CONGRESS WILL NEVER HAVE IT. The list goes on. Small business cannot possibly afford the massive increases in premiums and taxes and penalties packed into this beast. The layoffs have just begun. Under-employment as workers get downgraded to part time (which does not count on the unemployment numbers) is rampant. Blame the business owners? They are being driven out faster than you can say "Jack's your daddy".
You think unemployment is bad now? Just wait.

Affordable Health Care will be the death of this Republic. Really smart people have been ringing the bell for these four years begging, pleading; going through the bill pointing out the massive intrusions, back breaking costs, hellish conditions that will follow -- including death panels (which are responsible for thousands of deaths in England right now). For the children? Well, maybe the genetically pure ones (let's ask famous Progressive, George Bernard Shaw about that one).

Progressives are smart and will smear alarm bell ringers as being hate mongers.  Mirroring.

But national alarm is beginning to wake the people up. Even the most Liberal of true Liberals are beginning to agree: Something is deadly wrong. 

Please call your Congressmen, Senators, and anyone else you can think of. This is NOT Republican v.s. Democrat. This is Freedom v.s. Socialism.

Get out of this before it is too late.

When Absurdity is the Norm

Humor is in taking a situation and extending it to it's natural point of absurdity.
But, when absurdity is at the beginning of a situation, where can you go but further down. 
Seriously, I know people like this, who are offended by everything.
The only part they left out was that there isn't snow in Kwanza.

Sheesh...

Pumpernickel Blvd

Disarming Citizens:
What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

You're sound asleep when you hear a thump outside your bedroom door. Half-awake, and nearly paralyzed with fear, you hear muffled whispers. At least two people have broken into your house and are moving your way.

With your heart pumping, you reach down beside your bed and pick up your shotgun. You rack a shell into the chamber, then inch toward the door and open it... In the darkness, you make out two shadows.

 One holds something that looks like a crowbar. When the intruder brandishes it as if to strike, you raise the shotgun and fire. The blast knocks both thugs to the floor. One writhes and screams while the second man crawls to the front door and lurches outside.

As you pick up the telephone to call police, you know you're in trouble. In your country, most guns were outlawed years before, and the few that are privately owned are so stringently regulated as to make them useless.. Yours was never registered.. Police arrive and inform you that the second burglar has died. They arrest you for First Degree Murder and Illegal Possession of a Firearm.

When you talk to your attorney, he tells you not to worry: authorities will probably plea the case down to manslaughter. "What kind of sentence will I get?" you ask. "Only ten-to-twelve years," he replies, as if that's nothing.

"Behave yourself, and you'll be out in seven." The next day, the shooting is the lead story in the local newspaper. Somehow, you're portrayed as an eccentric vigilante while the two men you shot are represented as choirboys. Their friends and relatives can't find an unkind word to say about them.. Buried deep down in the article, authorities acknowledge that both "victims" have been arrested numerous times.

But the next day's headline says it all: "Lovable Rogue Son Didn't Deserve to Die." The thieves have been transformed from career criminals into Robin Hood-type pranksters..

As the days wear on, the story takes wings. The national media picks it up, then the international media.

The surviving burglar has become a folk hero. Your attorney says the thief is preparing to sue you, and he'll probably win. The media publishes reports that your home has been burglarized several times in the past and that you've been critical of local police for their lack of effort in apprehending the suspects. After the last break-in, you told your neighbor that you would be prepared next time.

The District Attorney uses this to allege that you were lying in wait for the burglars. A few months later, you go to trial. The charges haven't been reduced, as your lawyer had so confidently predicted. When you take the stand, your anger at the injustice of it all works against you.. Prosecutors paint a picture of you as a mean, vengeful man.

It doesn't take long for the jury to convict you of all charges. The judge sentences you to life in prison.

This case really happened.

On August 22, 1999, Tony Martin of Emneth,Norfolk , England, killed one burglar and wounded a second. In April, 2000, he was convicted and is now serving a life term.. How did it become a crime to defend one's own life in the once great British Empire  ? It started with the Pistols Act of 1903.

This seemingly reasonable law forbade selling pistols to minors or felons and established that handgun sales were to be made only to those who had a license. The Firearms Act of 1920 expanded licensing to include not only handguns but all firearms except shotguns..

Later laws passed in 1953 and 1967 outlawed the carrying of any weapon by private citizens and mandated the registration of all shotguns. Momentum for total handgun confiscation began in earnest after the Hungerford mass shooting in 1987.

Michael Ryan, a mentally disturbed man with a Kalashnikov rifle, walked down the street shooting everyone he saw.

When the smoke cleared, 17 people were dead. The British public, already de-sensitized by eighty years of "gun control", demanded even tougher restrictions. (The seizure of all privately owned handguns was the objective even though Ryan used a rifle.)

Nine years later, at Dunblane, Scotland, Thomas Hamilton used a semi-automatic weapon to murder 16 children and a teacher at a public school.

For many years, the media had portrayed all gun owners as mentally unstable, or worse, criminals.

Now the press had a real kook with which to beat up law-abiding gun owners. Day after day, week after week, the media gave up all pretense of objectivity and demanded a total ban on all handguns.

The Dunblane Inquiry, a few months later, sealed the fate of the few sidearm's still owned by private citizens.

During the years in which the British government incrementally took away most gun rights, the notion that a citizen had the right to armed self-defense came to be seen as vigilantism.

Authorities refused to grant gun licenses to people who were threatened, claiming that self-defense was no longer considered a reason to own a gun. Citizens who shot burglars or robbers or rapists were charged while the real criminals were released.

Indeed, after the Martin shooting, a police spokesman was quoted as saying, "We cannot have people take the law into their own hands."

All of Tony Martin's neighbors had been robbed numerous times, and several elderly people were severely injured in beatings by young thugs who had no fear of the consequences.

Martin himself, a collector of antiques, had seen most of his collection trashed or stolen by burglars. When the Dunblane Inquiry ended, citizens who owned handguns were given three months to turn them over to local authorities. Being good British subjects, most people obeyed the law.

The few who didn't were visited by police and threatened with ten-year prison sentences if they didn't comply. Police later bragged that they'd taken nearly 200,000 handguns from private citizens. How did the authorities know who had handguns?

The guns had been registered and licensed.

Kind of like cars. Sound familiar? WAKE UP AMERICA; THIS IS WHY OUR FOUNDING FATHERS PUT THE SECOND AMENDMENT IN OUR CONSTITUTION. "...It does not require a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless minority keen to set brush fires in people's minds.."

--Samuel Adams If you think this is important, please forward to everyone you know..

You had better wake up, because Obama is doing this very same thing, over here, if he can get it done. And there are stupid people in congress and on the street that will go right along with him.

Troubling News, uh...

Ten Percent Of U.S. High School Students Graduating Without Basic Object Permanence Skills
Well, this explains much.
You mean that things just don't disappear when you stop looking at them? Wait, what was I doing...

This month's home teaching message.

They left out #13. If you happen to be LDS (Harry Reed) nobody will castigate for your religion; they know you don't believe all that stuff anyway.

 When your family or friends cannot explain why they voted Democrat, give them this list.
They can then pick a reason from this "TOP 12".

 
1. I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.

2. I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

3. I voted Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

4. I voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

5. I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

6. I voted Democrat because I'm not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

7. I voted Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we should take away the social security from those who paid into it.

8. I voted Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrats see fit.

9. I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

10. I voted Democrat because I think that it's better to pay billions to people who hate us for their oil, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher or fish.

11. I voted Democrat because while we live in the greatest, most wonderful country in the world, I was promised "HOPE AND CHANGE".

12. I voted Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my rear, it's unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.

List of Firsts

We must give credit where credit is due. . .here's Obama's Impressive list of firsts:

§ First President to apply for college aid as a foreign student, then deny he was a foreigner.

§ First President to hide his medical, educational and travel records.

§ First President to win a Nobel Peace Prize for doing NOTHING to earn it.

§ First President to have a social security number from a state he has never lived in.

§ First President to preside over a cut to the credit-rating of the United States .

§ First President to violate the War Powers Act.

§ First President to be held in contempt of court for illegally obstructing oil drilling in the Gulf of Mexico .

§ First President to defy a Federal Judge’s court order to cease implementing the Health Care Reform Law.

§ First President to require all Americans to purchase a product from a third party.

§ First President to spend a trillion dollars on ‘shovel-ready’ jobs when there was no such thing as ‘shovel-ready’ jobs.

§ First President to abrogate bankruptcy law and turn over control of major companies to his union supporters.

§ First President to by-pass Congress and implement the Dream Act through executive fiat.

§ First President to order a secret amnesty program that stopped the deportation of illegal immigrants across the U.S. , including those with criminal convictions.

§ First President to demand a company hand-over $20 billion to one of his political appointees.

§ First President to terminate America ’s ability to put a man in space.

§ First President to have a law signed by an auto-pen without being present.

§ First President to arbitrarily usurp congress, declare an existing law unconstitutional and refuse to enforce it.

§ First President to threaten insurance companies if they publicly spoke-out on the reasons for their rate increases.

§ First President to tell a major manufacturing company (Boeing) in which State they are allowed to locate a factory.

§ First President to join with a foreign country and file lawsuits against the states he swore an oath to protect (AZ, WI, OH, IN).

§ First President to fire an inspector general of Ameri-corps for catching one of his friends in a corruption case.

§ First President to appoint 45 czars to replace elected officials in his office.

§ First President to go on multiple global ‘apology tours’.

§ First President to go on 17 lavish vacations, including date nights and Wednesday evening White House parties for his friends; paid for by the taxpayer.

§ First President to have 22 personal servants (taxpayer funded) for his wife.

§ First President to keep a dog trainer on retainer for $102,000 a year at taxpayer expense.

§ First President to repeat the Holy Qur'an and tell us, "the Islamic call to worship is the most beautiful sound on earth."


WAKE UP AMERICA ! Send this list to your Democrat friends - they will all be so proud of all these firsts!

Plus:
Teleprompter
Cap n Trade
$5 and more Gas Prices